Saccharine Irony

This site is a compilation of fluid thoughts, a collection of poetry, random glimpses of humor and tragedy, spontaneous notions of an extremely sensitive mind.

A Cup of Coffee A Day Chases the Blues Away October 11, 2010

Filed under: confessions — Aimee @ 1:27 pm
Tags: , , , , ,

So here is the equation:

 

beware of that fin!

 

Cold weather/rainy days + Wedding proposals by Facebook friends published all over the site + Work that’s getting more boring everyday + Chronic indecision as to which career to settle for + No one to hold hands with = DEPRESSION.

This is pathetic.

So first off, the rainy weather. Last Friday, some parts of the city had been submerged in ankle-deep rainy water and if the thrashing rains had not stopped on time, our neighborhood may have been subjected to another flooding, the third time in less than two years. Depressing and frustrating all in one breath.

So second part of the equation: wedding proposals all over Facebook. So I’ve written about how thrilled I was about my best friend getting the engagement rock on her birthday. But then, everyone else started getting the virus, and now, if people are not getting engaged or getting married (my brother got hitched mid of this year, and a baby boy, my first nephew, is set to come out in January or February), they are having babies. And then it took me a whole minute to realize that I will be turning 28 in less than a month. No boyfriend now, so definitely no engagement on the horizon, and certainly no wedding and babies due anytime soon. Not that I’m actually looking forward to getting married, not at all. I can’t imagine being a wife to anyone right now, and I’ve promised myself to fulfill something first before agreeing to any form of romantic relationship with anyone. It’s just that, well, weddings are so lovely and babies are so cute. Now, I’m even more depressed. :p

Third part of the equation, boring work. I love writing yes, but this homebased stuff is getting stale. I need to get out asap, and I’m setting my deadline on the first month of the following year. Fingers crossed and twisted this time.

Fourth part, never mind. I actually know which career I want to settle in, it’s just that the career I really want is somewhere in the greater metropolis. So, it’s going to be strong heart for me this time and lots of Kleenex for when I leave home again.

Fifth part of the equation: no one to hold hands with. Well, see lengthy explanation on the second part of the equation. That explains everything and then some.

Depression.

But then I had coffee, and now I’m smiling again.

And now that I’m feeling better, I’ve realized that the soft pitter-patter of rain is really nothing to get wired up about. And that choosing to stay single after a very painful break up is one of the bravest and wisest things I’ve done for myself. I don’t feel incomplete in any way, so why rush the next love story? (If truth be told I still want the same love story, but that’s another story on another day. :-))

For the longest time I never gave myself much credit about being strong and independent, but I continue to surprise myself everyday. Thank you Lord, for giving me a small but resilient heart!

(But yeah, it’d be nice to hold hands with someone once in a while… more coffee please!)

:-p

~~~~~

 

 

Should Have Been in Bantayan Island Today… March 20, 2010

Filed under: confessions,Events,Love,Women — Aimee @ 10:16 am
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~~~~~~~~

… to witness my good friend Dennise’s lovely beach wedding at sunset. But instead I am stuck at home, nursing a dancing hangover, and writing this lousy blog post. I canceled my trip to Cebu and to Bantayan Island early this week due to work complications. This freelancing thing is getting on my nerves, and with the scheduled blackouts disrupting my writing schedules almost on a daily basis, I was left with no choice but to choose work over vacation this weekend, or else I’ll go broke before month-end.

Plus, today is also Chaya’s wedding in Malaybalay, held at the same church where I want to profess my marriage vows in someday, the Monastery of Transfiguration. For months, I had been in a dilemma, thinking how I will inevitably be missing one wedding, by taking part in another.

But because I promised to grace Dennise’s wedding first, and talks of her getting married in early summer surfaced way before Chaya began planning about her own, I was leaning towards the Bantayan Island wedding party. As early as January, I began shopping for a dark-violet strapless dress to wear to the beach wedding, as well as an abaca-made wrist bag to go with the summer-beachy theme. Also, I bought some new eye make-up, and prepared the pink and brown printed  summer dress which I never had occasion to use, intending to wear it over breakfast after the wedding party.

So much for being a fashionista girl scout. Today, I am at home, feeling a bit wistful, wishing I were someplace else, where blue skies and chilled margaritas go perfectly together. Well last night I went clubbing with the girls, and though I had some Gilbey’s Premium Strength Gin and danced for two hours in my 3-inch party heels, I’d still much rather be in a deserted white beach, witnessing another happily-ever-after, and staring dreamily into the sunset.

Gahd. I feel like crying right now. Weddings and spoiled plans always do that to me.

😦

 

I Just Need To October 22, 2009

Filed under: confessions,Women — Aimee @ 3:39 pm
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breathe

~~~~~~~

Stop for a while and take a few deep breaths. This whirlwind existence is interesting, but pretty exhausting.  I miss my lazy weekends, movie and DVD marathons, books and hot chocolate, leisurely me-time, and some belly dancing classes in the evenings. I miss having unplanned dates with someone who loves to hold my hand and smell my hair. I miss taking my dog to the beach. Heck, I even miss doing the laundry during quiet Sunday afternoons.

And even with all these chaos, I still plan to take up some Web Design and Dreamweaver courses and an English writing-related diploma course next semester. What am I thinking? It’s almost November. As if all the holiday rush, year-end parties, and gift hunting deadlines are not crazy enough. As if I am not stressed enough.

~~~~~~

breathing

Well, breathing is enough for now. 🙂