So here is the equation:
Cold weather/rainy days + Wedding proposals by Facebook friends published all over the site + Work that’s getting more boring everyday + Chronic indecision as to which career to settle for + No one to hold hands with = DEPRESSION.
This is pathetic.
So first off, the rainy weather. Last Friday, some parts of the city had been submerged in ankle-deep rainy water and if the thrashing rains had not stopped on time, our neighborhood may have been subjected to another flooding, the third time in less than two years. Depressing and frustrating all in one breath.
So second part of the equation: wedding proposals all over Facebook. So I’ve written about how thrilled I was about my best friend getting the engagement rock on her birthday. But then, everyone else started getting the virus, and now, if people are not getting engaged or getting married (my brother got hitched mid of this year, and a baby boy, my first nephew, is set to come out in January or February), they are having babies. And then it took me a whole minute to realize that I will be turning 28 in less than a month. No boyfriend now, so definitely no engagement on the horizon, and certainly no wedding and babies due anytime soon. Not that I’m actually looking forward to getting married, not at all. I can’t imagine being a wife to anyone right now, and I’ve promised myself to fulfill something first before agreeing to any form of romantic relationship with anyone. It’s just that, well, weddings are so lovely and babies are so cute. Now, I’m even more depressed. :p
Third part of the equation, boring work. I love writing yes, but this homebased stuff is getting stale. I need to get out asap, and I’m setting my deadline on the first month of the following year. Fingers crossed and twisted this time.
Fourth part, never mind. I actually know which career I want to settle in, it’s just that the career I really want is somewhere in the greater metropolis. So, it’s going to be strong heart for me this time and lots of Kleenex for when I leave home again.
Fifth part of the equation: no one to hold hands with. Well, see lengthy explanation on the second part of the equation. That explains everything and then some.
But then I had coffee, and now I’m smiling again.
And now that I’m feeling better, I’ve realized that the soft pitter-patter of rain is really nothing to get wired up about. And that choosing to stay single after a very painful break up is one of the bravest and wisest things I’ve done for myself. I don’t feel incomplete in any way, so why rush the next love story? (If truth be told I still want the same love story, but that’s another story on another day. :-))
For the longest time I never gave myself much credit about being strong and independent, but I continue to surprise myself everyday. Thank you Lord, for giving me a small but resilient heart!
(But yeah, it’d be nice to hold hands with someone once in a while… more coffee please!)