Saccharine Irony

This site is a compilation of fluid thoughts, a collection of poetry, random glimpses of humor and tragedy, spontaneous notions of an extremely sensitive mind.

Books, Chocolate, Art December 29, 2010

Filed under: books,Life,Love,Women — Aimee @ 4:20 am
Tags: , , ,

Yesternight I went to Odessa’s house to drop off the shoes which she’ll paint for me. She’s one of those people whose creativity I deeply admire, and as I’ve known her since primary school, she’s also one of my oldest friends. As a Christmas present of sorts, I gave her the critically-acclaimed book, The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd. A story about a daughter’s love and longing for her mother and the unexpected places we find love in this lifetime, this book is high on my list of favorites. I hope she’ll love it as much as I did.

And oh, she gave me this too:

Cadbury Caramello. Yay! Right now it’s still in the fridge, sitting all pretty. I’ve yet to finish the Toblerones, Snickers, and a bit of the Ferrero which my sister took home. And then this dark, chewy beauty. Chocolate, how I love thee!

 

The Peacock, Patricia Ariel

I’ll post a pic of the painted shoes here next time. I’ve chosen a peacock pattern for her to paint, and am positive she’ll outdo herself, like she always does. 🙂

 

The Year That Was December 22, 2010

Years from now, if I had to look back on a particular year in my life I will definitely find 2010 to be one of the most remarkable. Not because I’ve spent this year traveling (which I really intend to do very soon) or that I’ve finally come home to my soul mate (a.k.a fallen in love, for good :p) or that I’ve finally found my one place under the sun.

Let’s just say that for this year alone, I’ve learned everything I should have and could have ever learned in the past 27 years or so.  Not everything of course; I know the lessons will never stop coming, but for this year, I know that I have gained more than I have lost. And I believe with my whole heart that I will gain back everything that I may have lost in the past.

First, let me tell you about my control issues. I’m a planner, the most fastidious you may have ever seen. I’m fond of lists too, and in my mind I used to have my future all planned out. Grocery lists, things-to-do lists, things-to-shop-for lists,  marriage plans, vacation lists, list, list, list, list. I plan not merely for the sake of organizing, but more on being able to retain my control. No planner is ever without a list and I’m the planner queen of all planner queens.

I demand control in almost anything and if I don’t get it, well you HAD TO give it to me. Many people who love me know this. And this is why they spend half their time loving me and half their time hating me. Me and my affinity for control and everything that comes with it.

But then I realize that control is selfishness. I was a fool to realize that I control anything or anyone. Yes, I can plan, I can list, I can look forward to a future that isn’t here yet, but I cannot control anything. If it comes, it comes. If not, then why should I lose sleep over it? Why should we sleep over things that are not meant to be? I’ve been juvenile and I’ve been selfish and this year I decided to grow up or at least try to.

I don’t know whether I have gotten rid of all my control issues, but what I’m sure of is that I’ve stopped asking questions. And I’ve stopped demanding the answers right here and right now. I’ve stopped wondering why there are so many questions, or why some things are and some things aren’t.

I’ve finally learned what faith is all about.

I look back on my life and now see all the blessings I’d been given and up until now I get teary-eyed thinking about how ungrateful I had been. No, not teary-eyed, I bawl my eyes out. Seriously. The very reason for my unhappiness had been my ungratefulness. And pride. And for this year, I’ve finally decided to throw them into the shredder and let go.

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Immediately after celebrating the New Year festivities in January of this year, I went on a hiking trip with my brother and his male friend, after having visited about seven or eight churches within the city. My brother then had a special petition for the heavens, but I joined them for a completely different reason. I wanted to pray for a meaningful year, I wanted to offer my thank-yous, and I wanted inner peace. The hiking trip had been the last of our sojourn, and to get to a hilly chapel of the Virgin of Guadalupe, we had to traverse a long stream about eighteen times or nine times back and forth. So it was a short hike for a few minutes and then a battle with the currents for longer minutes. We were wet thigh-high, and we had to carry wooden sticks to keep our balance. The small chapel was located on a hilly area, and at the distance you can make out the mountains and some horses and the thick forest. It was a quiet place for meditation and prayer and I remember lighting a few candles as I whispered my gratitude and contrition, my pain and my hopes.

At that time, I wanted to do something to mark out the new year, I wanted to greet another year by doing something concrete about my spirituality. And now that the year is about to draw to a close, I could not have picked a better way to embrace 2010, and for the coming year, I expect to mark out its beginning by doing the same thing. Visit churches, pray, hike, traverse rivers, light candles, and pray.

Because really, we are not here to control anything, or to ask questions, or to demand the answers. We only do the best that we can, nothing more. We can only offer thanks to a Master and a Creator who has designed this universe, this world so beautifully and skillfully that even the brightest minds find themselves perplexed and asking even more questions.

And yes, we are here to love. To love and love and love. To love everyone without exception, to love without ceasing, to love without pride, and to love without shame.

After all, we get what we give. And if only everyone gave out love, all the world would have love.

🙂

Happy Holidays and Happy New Year!

 

Proud of her Faith, Proud to be a Christian

Filed under: Saccharine thoughts — Aimee @ 12:12 pm
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On that note, Merry Christmas everyone!

May we always remember the child who was born in a manger in Bethlehem, who grew up to preach us about love, peace and forgiveness, and gave the world salvation.

 

May your Holidays be filled with love, laughter, and peace of heart. 🙂

 

Yay! December 16, 2010

Filed under: books,Movies — Aimee @ 3:52 am
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still on the first few pages 🙂

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my most recent fave movie, you can say that 🙂

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Many thanks to my pal, Matt for giving me this book as a belated birthday present and as an advance Christmas gift. And many thanks to my best friend, Estee, for lending me the DVD. The movie had me crying the whole time, tears, snot, and all. And while the book is fun to read it is nonetheless loaded with so much insight, and am pretty sure some tears and snot affair will be going on as well.

Blame it on Liz Gilbert. I’m no longer embarrassed to admit that my 2010 has actually been a year full of tears, snot, sniffles, and bunched-up tissues. Always a cry baby, always been. But then again, what is transformation without cleansing, without tears?

Reading this book and watching the movie is the perfect conclusion for a year that had me on my knees almost the entire time, thanking a God that has been faithful to me this entire time, a God that gave me the kind of love I will perhaps never find again in this lifetime at a time when I did not deserve it, a God who had to break my heart so that I may be whole again.

There’s been no Italy-India-Indonesia journey for me (maybe someday!), yes, but my internal/spiritual travels for this year can be comparable to Gilbert’s own adventure.

And I could not thank my GOD enough. 🙂

 

 

Strong Heart December 8, 2010

Filed under: Life,Love — Aimee @ 3:47 am

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I was talking with one of my best girlfriends last night, on a variety of subject matters – dreams, love, happy endings, learning from the past- when I shared with her one of the realizations I’ve had these past days. I have learned that God, the universe, the Divine Force (or whatever you conceive Him to be)  gives us what we need exactly when we need it. So if we don’t have it,  then we don’t need it. If we don’t have it yet, we don’t really need it now.

But the best thing, the most beautiful thing is that, when He decides to give us something, it’s oftentimes MORE than what we need.

Strong heart, everyone. The best is yet to come.

🙂