as false as false teeth

I have been putting off writing this entry for days. I thought I could just keep mum and keep all my raging thoughts to myself. But I just can’t. So before the year ends, I want to rant here in my blog, hoping that after I’m done I will finally leave all the misgivings of 2009 and look forward to the New Year without having to spend a single thought for a backstabber who’s been camouflaging as my friend and a so-called Christian for years.

While I was working in Bukidnon, I met this girl. Well, we became fast friends simply because she was introduced to me by the most important person in my life that time.  She was friendly and all and I could say we got along well. We shared a lot of stuff — from books and stories to laughter and dinners, and we even shared the same bedroom for a few months. But not too long ago I discovered how she’s been talking trash about me and judging me like she’s the purest, most righteous person on this planet. To say that I’ve been shell-shocked would be an understatement. Yes, I do have fights with my girlfriends, but never, never a backstabbing episode. Backstabbing is for high school kids who did not know better. If I’m not pleased with whatever, I tell them straight up and vice versa. What is the point of being friends if one intends to be a two-faced snake who judges very easily, without even taking in the bigger picture? Now I understand. This puny little girl does not get what friendship really is. I actually pity her best friend.

To you who once told me I write very well and that I have a pretty voice, and that you want to be a part of my wedding one day, take all your false compliments and stick them down your throat. They were all very cheesy, and deep down I knew you never really meant them. Turns out I was right. I could see through your pretense, but because I thought we were friends, I was ready to ignore them. Well, I should’nt have.

Call me a bitch anytime, call me maldita, I don’t really care. For your information, there are men who love bitches and even go on to marry them. But please say it straight to my face and not behind my back. I can take that and even laugh it off. But to say those things about me to someone you don’t really know? And when you have not even talked to either one of the parties involved? To proclaim that you never liked me from the start?  Dear, that’s just juvenile and regrettably, pathetic. All your religious inclinations won’t set everything right and excuse you right off the bat. You are the bitch. Well worse than that, really.

So don’t just talk about being a Christian, start living like one. Stop throwing stones at people and stop talking about their private lives to just about anyone. You’re not as perfect as you think you are, poor thing. You’re not.

And you know what? Not everyone is happy with what you’ve been doing. Turns out I’m not the only one. Believe me. What goes around comes around and someday, all that bad karma will come hit you right in the face. Then you’ll understand what I’m talking about.

Now, I really should have known. You were always like that, since high school. Someone told me you were always like that in high school. That you had the tendency to say one thing straight to people’s faces and another when their backs are turned. I just did not think you could do it to me. But then again, why not? If you could do it to your high school classmates, why not to me, whom you’ve known for a shorter span of time? Who was I kidding?

And do you want to know who made me understand all these things, who allowed me to see all through the ruse and who was quite ashamed with what you said and did? The very same someone I met in March just when the light summer breeze would remind you of orange sunsets and lazy afternoons. The one who brought more magic into my life. The one who confessed his love in a quiet chapel. The one who courted me for five straight months. The one I’d still love to share my someday with, if given another chance.

Yes.

Him.

So if I am to give you one unsolicited advice, it’s this: Learn to shut up and keep your trashy thoughts to yourself. Actually, you don’t sound real smart when you do.

Suffice it to say that I’ve just been very busy lately. And with Christmas just a few days away, things have gotten really hectic and well, crazy. Here’s me hoping that I’ll get to write a real post soon, and maybe even update my new food blog.

Enough with the drama already. Suprisingly, my heart is okay.

you broke my heart

~~~~~

… writer’s block. The one person who I wanted to greet me on my birthday never did so here I am, still sulking, still a bit depressed, 11 days after I turned sweet twenty-seven.  My birthday had been fun without a doubt and I do have friends and family who keep me occupied and sane but I spent the entire time waiting. Waiting for a call, an SMS, an email, heck even just a forwarded, cheesy text message saying Happy Birthday and May God Bless You. But there was nothing. So here I am, still a bit bruised and blue, still unable to swing into the usual rhythm of things. I haven’t written a single entry in my blogs for almost 2 weeks now. 2 weeks. And to think I have so many things to write, to blabber about. The spark, sadly, has not yet returned.

I may deserve your silence, for all the years I’ve been a bratty, mean, opinionated bitch who demanded control and almost always got it, but I’ve stopped being one since the day you let go of my hand. I hope you’re reading this, cheri. I’m not fine. I’m so not okay. Eventually I will be, but I don’t know how long that’s gonna take.

I’m really not the cheesy type of gal who loves to make her heart’s sentiments public property but I’m going to risk sounding all corny and cheesy to say this:

All this time, all I’ve ever wanted was for you to come home.

Nothing else.

~~~~

YouthSays | YouthSays, Philippines’ Youth Opinion Community.

Dead Until Dark on my bookshelf

I got the first book of the Sookie Stackhouse series by Charlaine Harris as a birthday present from my very good friend Nashy. I also got a gorgeous scarf as a pasalubong from her recent trip to Baguio. I’ve been wanting to buy the first book of the series for so long, but I’m so thrilled now that I got it for an early birthday present. With my birthday only a mere 3 days away, I have no expectations whatsoever. I do plan to have a good time and to blow a candle on my birthday cake. I’ve already made early morning plans with a friend, whom I’ll be spending my birthday breakfast with. And except for the birthday dinner and happy hour with the family, I’ve made no other plans so far.

Well, there will be no roses or sweet-nothings this year I guess, but I think I’ll be fine. I hope so. I never thought I’d be able to say this conviction in my lifetime, but now I can: Even with a broken heart, life can still be grand. Jessica Zafra got it right, nobody dies of a broken heart.  It’s actually a case of swallowing the bitter pill for me, since I was the one responsible for getting my heart splintered in the first place. I can only wish for forgiveness and love on my birthday, but I am not in the position to say that I deserve it now, or if I still deserve it period. Missing my cheri is all I ever do these days, but I know I’ll get by. After all, everything has a time under heaven.

In the meantime, I have Charlaine Harris to keep me company. I’m still on the first few pages, but already I’m looking forward to more books.

Wish me a happy birthday, will you!

Last week, the family was invited to attend a Bali themed wedding party at the Country Village Hotel. The simple wedding ceremony was held at a secluded chapel, in the hilly areas of the city. While the ceremony was simply routine, the after wedding party was anything but.

beuatiful asian lanterns

Arriving early at the reception, we were able to appreciate the well-planned Balinese setting.  There were Asian lanterns hanging from the draped ceilings, and the lighting was subdued enough to bring out a romantic yet festive atmosphere. Happy, pulsating Balinese drum beats greeted us as we arrived at the venue, so it was difficult to feign excitement. I almost wanted to hop and grind in my orange summer dress! LOL.

drapes and summer hats

As you can see there were also lighted palm trees, which were strategically scattered all throughout the venue. To add a bit of privacy to the outdoor setting, drapes were hung, but these were also ingeniously tied with native summer hats for that authentic and exotic beach feel.

Me in my Bali summer dress

That’s me, taking a pose beside the cupcake tower and the dainty fondant wedding cake. I donned an orange and fuchsia number, with a cinched waist. The hunt for the perfect summer dress began since the time I received the invitation.  Of course, any occasion presents the perfect excuse to add another dress to my wardrobe, so I was more than happy to begin my search. The search ended when I found this pink-strapped orange dress at Mags.

roses, mums, lilies

Okay, roses are not exactly too-Balinese, but what wedding is complete without roses? It’s a good thing that Malaysian mums, ferns, and some orchids and lilies were added into the flower arrangements, so as to create a more eclectic, less formal feel. The roses came in yellows, peaches, and whites, while the mums were either bright pink, white, or orange yellow.

roses and candlelight

And I should tell you how I adored the table settings. Each table had more than three candles, an exquisitely arranged floral bouquet, rounded stones, and smaller pebbles that remind you of beaches and glorious sunsets. The tables were just the right size, so they were both cozy and intimate, seating only about six to seven people each.

the view by the poolside

The venue was right by the pool moreover, and with the sound of the Balinese drums and the pull of the exotic ambiance, it was easy to forget that we were partying in a small hotel within the city of Cagayan de Oro.

cupcakes!

Finally, I should say something about the desserts. I think every wedding should have delectable, mouth-watering desserts. Well, these sweet treats are nothing fancy, just a few chocolate and coffee cupcakes with butter icing, cheese squares, Chantilly bars and tarts, but they were served profusely and were delightful to the taste buds.

The wedding was one of the most fun celebrations I’ve been in; there were none of the strict formality and stiffness prevalent in many traditional weddings, and everybody came to have a good time. The emcee captured everyone’s attention with her crisp voice and effortless segues. The girls came in their cute summer dresses while the guys were dressed down to their short-sleeved polos, light-colored slacks, and loafers or sneaks.

Nonetheless, there was elegance to be seen everywhere – from the lights to the flowers and from the dainty desserts to the first-class photography. It was a happy affair, which is what every wedding after-party should be.

To Jojo and Charise, may you stay in love, for life!

~~~~~~~

Stop for a while and take a few deep breaths. This whirlwind existence is interesting, but pretty exhausting.  I miss my lazy weekends, movie and DVD marathons, books and hot chocolate, leisurely me-time, and some belly dancing classes in the evenings. I miss having unplanned dates with someone who loves to hold my hand and smell my hair. I miss taking my dog to the beach. Heck, I even miss doing the laundry during quiet Sunday afternoons.

And even with all these chaos, I still plan to take up some Web Design and Dreamweaver courses and an English writing-related diploma course next semester. What am I thinking? It’s almost November. As if all the holiday rush, year-end parties, and gift hunting deadlines are not crazy enough. As if I am not stressed enough.

~~~~~~

Well, breathing is enough for now.

Tagged: Aimee, Moods, Thoughts, Women ]]> http://saccharineirony.wordpress.com/2009/10/22/i-just-need-to/feed/ 0 ayeng breathe breathing http://saccharineirony.wordpress.com/2009/10/16/a-potluck-strawberry-punch-and-margarita-party-in-one/ http://saccharineirony.wordpress.com/2009/10/16/a-potluck-strawberry-punch-and-margarita-party-in-one/#comments Fri, 16 Oct 2009 09:00:59 +0000 Aimee http://saccharineirony.wordpress.com/?p=1176 ]]>

The potluck party with the grade school buddies at Odessa’s place was a huge success. There was food – pasta and lots of meat-, dessert, and lots of drinks, too. For the ladies, some strawberry cocktail punch and lemony margaritas, while the guys had their usual beer. It rained heavily several hours before the dinnertime party, but the precipitation failed to “rain” on our parade. We all had a whale of a time sharing stories, trading jokes, drinking booze, playing with  Odessa’s wacko dog, Jacko, and of course, posing for pictures.

Our bartender for the night, Angela, who I hope will be our official bartender from this party forward, devised a wicked strawberry punch highlighted with spiked gelatin bits. And by spiked I mean the gelatin cubes had alcohol in it. So there I was munching on the gelatin, not realizing that I was actually taking in more alcohol than I initially thought. As for the lemon margarita, it was divinely delish, and if not for the strawberry punch which I gulped down unthinkingly, I would have had more.

the wicked, wicked punch

the gradeschool gang!

the party planners

Odessa, our lovely hostess, in black.

jacko!

Tagged: celebrations, Childhood, friendship ]]> http://saccharineirony.wordpress.com/2009/10/16/a-potluck-strawberry-punch-and-margarita-party-in-one/feed/ 0 ayeng punch complete love this again lovely IMG_5417 http://saccharineirony.wordpress.com/2009/10/13/a-chaotic-but-fun-weekend/ http://saccharineirony.wordpress.com/2009/10/13/a-chaotic-but-fun-weekend/#comments Tue, 13 Oct 2009 11:07:07 +0000 Aimee http://saccharineirony.wordpress.com/?p=1164 ]]>

I spent the weekend attending baking classes, working on pending projects, spending dinner and after-dinner laag with a girlfriend, shopping for a new hobo bag (a great steal actually! ), skipping sewing classes,  going on a Sunday road trip with my brother’s girlfriend’s family, gazing at a waterfall, swimming, taking photos, and pigging out. Phew.

I actually needed Mentopas after the road trip, especially after hiking, swimming, and sitting in the car for almost four hours. It was chaotic, you can say that, but it was also fun. Now I just need to catch up on my sewing classes. We were tasked to sew our very own sleeveless blouse last Sunday (thank God Mae and Estee were there, so I merely copied notes!) – and that involved taking all the necessary measurements, tracing patterns, cutting them, and tracing them again on a blousy piece of fabric. Then the lingerie comes next. And then the dresses. I’m feeling both excited…. and… and… apprehensive.  I can’t imagine sewing my own dress and actually wearing it. That would be phenomenal.

Now some snaps.

chat, nash, me

majestic

the girls

loveliness

Tagged: Friends, friendship, Happiness, Travel ]]> http://saccharineirony.wordpress.com/2009/10/13/a-chaotic-but-fun-weekend/feed/ 5 ayeng IMG_5291 Maria Cristina Falls Maria Cristina visit flowers of Maria Cristina http://saccharineirony.wordpress.com/2009/10/10/vanilla-saturdays/ http://saccharineirony.wordpress.com/2009/10/10/vanilla-saturdays/#comments Sat, 10 Oct 2009 01:37:41 +0000 Aimee http://saccharineirony.wordpress.com/?p=1160 ]]>

Peanut Cookies! LOL!

Off to my baking class this Saturday morning. Ciao!