It’s past twelve midnight and I’m sleepy. Yet I am kept awake by my thoughts, on things I shouldn’t be thinking about, but are just too monumental to pass up. For the past weeks, I have been in conversations with friends who were stuck deep in the love-shit. Don’t get me wrong, I am crazily in love and I can’t imagine how dreadful life would be without my better half. But I still don’t think that you ought to trade self-respect for the sake of having a particular someone in your life. These women I know, whom I have always deeply respected, were no longer keeping something for themselves. I don’t know if its dependence, or security, or pride. I don’t know if they fear losing the person or fear losing the oh-so-perfect front that they have thrown on and paraded to the world. All I know is that ever since they proclaimed they fell in love, they are no longer the girls, the women, that I have always recognized.
Why should you stay in a relationship when the man you supposedly love throws you out of the house a million times? Why settle with someone who does not allow you freedom? Why do you dedicate your strength in rebuilding something that was meant to break down anyway? Why in the whole damn world would you stay with a man who, for all his education and all his degrees, could not even afford to respect his own woman?
Yes, I’m sleepy and I’m curious. I hope we all wake up and discover that my thoughts were just part of a perfectly orchestrated nightmare, and that these women I am talking about are actually women who know that love is simply one shady piece of an intricate puzzle.
