Wednesday
I arrived on a cold morning, and he was nowhere near where my bus stopped. He called me later saying he fell asleep after calling me without getting good connection. Stupid mobile network, he said. Then he asked me where I was. Of course I wanted to tell him I’m already in my room, freezing from the early morning chill, and sleepy as a cat. That I wanted a nice cup of coffee and some blueberry jam-and-butter sandwich for breakfast. Instead I told him I was trapped in a landslide in the middle of the mountains. C’mon, really, where? , he replied. Either he was indifferent or I was a lousy liar. So I ended up telling him the truth.
Later in the afternoon he called to say we can’t eat dinner together. The students were to have their Christmas party, and they have an electronics booth to put up. But I was looking forward to dinner, and we haven’t seen each other since Monday, I said. I’ll just bring you dinner okay? , he said. I told him I wanted a lasagna take-out. But he reminded me he will be on a party, and that he can get me some party food for dinner. I okayed, then hung up.
Evening came. He called once to assure me he’d be bringing me dinner at my workplace. We were on a year end rush so everybody was doing overtime. The boss ordered dinner: pork barbecue, steaming rice, and cold Coke. I joined them because I was starving. Then he came with my dinner, packed inside a styro. Stir fried noodles, rice, and fried chicken. He knows I’m allergic to chicken meat. Stir fried bihon noodles are not my thing. Then I realized it was a good thing the boss ordered barbecue, because I didn’t get to mind my clueless guy’s amnesia.
Then he told me he was to leave in a few minutes. The party was just starting, he said. But I thought it’s a students’ party, you don’t have to go. Please stay? , I cajoled. Then he said he’ll just walk me home first, and then he’ll go back to the university. After a goodbye kiss, I walked inside the house.
Later that night, there were no answers to my calls. I sent him a message but received no reply. It was eleven o’clock and I was sleeping when he called and said goodnight. Again I was too sleepy to take mind.
Thursday
He called to say good morning while I was in my bath. At eight, he asked me if I had breakfast; the same old talk. Then silence. His next message was at two in the afternoon, telling me we won’t be traveling home together on Friday. Office Christmas party, he said, changed from the 27th, blah, blah, blah. I felt the steam rising to my ears. And because I loathe it when I’m ignored, especially on occasions more than once, I allowed my fury free reign.
@#$$%^& bastard @#$$%^56767 stupid @#&**(&&(*( idiot!) $%$^*&^*& the nerve! &*((&*&^%&*7*(go to hell%#$@%^%$&&*&…and then I became too tired to even think.
He can’t ignore me just because he brought me expensive slippers last weekend. And my bottled water last night. Just because he ends every phone call with I love yous. Just because his kisses melt my insides. He can’t ignore me just because he left two jobs for me, and because I always tell him he’s my soul mate.
He can’t simply ignore me. Because all this time, all I ever wanted was his hand holding mine.
